LEADERSHIP STYLES
There are different styles of leadership (see list below) and
some have legitimacy in certain circumstances.
1. The
coercive style. ...
2. The
authoritative style. ...
3. The
affiliative style. ...
4. The
democratic style. ...
5. The
pacesetting style. ...
6. The
coaching style.
For more information see Goleman
CULTURE AND CONTEXT
I would warn that the coercive style is just bullying: This
style can also help control a problem teammate when everything else has failed.
However, it should be avoided in almost every other case because it can
alienate people and stifle flexibility and inventiveness.
If the aim is to control a problem then check that people
agree there is a “problem”, and that there is consensus that this is the best
approach.
You’ll win support of your team if the intent is to deal
with someone who is undermining the team, working against key values or indeed
being a bully. You’ll create distrust if you’re the one being the bully and
picking on someone who is valued by the team, or who is acting in accordance
with the organisational values.
For example if your organisations’ values are like Starbucks
(below) its wise not to remonstrate with someone who is “challenging the status
quo” or discussing issues as part of “connecting with transparency”
1. Creating
a culture of warmth and belonging, where everyone is welcome.
2. Acting
with courage, challenging the status quo.
3. Being
present, connecting with transparency, dignity and respect.
4. Delivering
our very best in all we do, holding ourselves accountable for results.
5. We
are performance driven, through the lens of humanity.
THE SCHOOL BULLY COMPARED TO THE LEADERSHIP BULLY
In school people are advised…” if the bully says or does something to you”
1. Ignore
the bully. If you can, try your best to ignore the bully's threats. ...
2. Stand
up for yourself. Pretend to feel really brave and confident. ...
3. Don't
bully back. ...
4. Don't
show your feelings. ...
5. Tell
an adult.
This is more complex in the work-place, particularly if the
bully is a boss.
You may not be able to ignore them if they are the boss. Standing
up for yourself could be insubordination. You may not have an “adult” you can
tell: Your colleagues may offer sympathy but they are unlikely to stick their
neck out. I know many HR people who will
diligently listen, offer you advice, and then do nothing themselves because
they don’t want to rock the boat.
HOW TO REACT TO BULLYING
I have always followed this advice…
1.
Ask for time to think - it should force a pause
or moment of silence.
2.
Think about what you want to happen - don’t
fight back, think forward.
3.
Get the bully to stop yelling - “Please speak
more slowly, I’d like to understand” or (if on the phone) say nothing until they
ask “Are you still there?”
4.
What-ever you do don’t explain - think forward,
don’t justify, recriminate, excuse or offer explanation. They’re looking to
exploit weaknesses (-) not strength (+)
5.
Ask “what would you like me to do?”. If so
challenged they will ask you for something more acceptable than what they want.
This is your exit opportunity.
6.
Don’t take criticism personally - attacks on
your team, your work, your values, etc. are not attacks on you. Although it is
hard to resist “fight or flight”
7.
Learn from criticism - if you wait 24 hrs before
answering criticism it will demonstrate maturity, reasonableness and you may
learn something!
CHOOSE A DIFFERENT ROLE
There is however a different approach that you might take. There
is a theory that there are three key roles in any situation…
·
VILLAIN
·
VICTIM
·
HERO
When we live in the drama triangle, we see the other person
as our adversary — the villain. If
only they would change, we reason, things would be fine. They
stand between us and happiness. Ironically, they are usually thinking the same thing about us.
To resolve conflict, we need to relinquish
our roles as victim, villain and hero and work with the other person to solve the problem.
We must meet the other person in the middle. This means
telling them our story (in a way they will be able to hear it) and listening
to their story with curiosity. Such open
communication fosters mutual understanding. This understanding provides a
doorway through which we can exit the drama triangle and enter into the circle of resolution.
I would however concede that this is easier said than done
because “telling them our story” is a direct contradiction of “What-ever you do
don’t explain” . Trying to justify yourself to a bully unlikely going to work.
For more information
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Tim Rogers is a Qualified Change Practitioner and PRINCE2
Project Manager, with an MBA in Management Consultancy. Past projects have
included the incorporation of Ports of Jersey and Operations Change and Sales
Support for RBSI and NatWest. He is a tutor/lecturer for the Chartered
Management Institute.
No comments:
Post a Comment